belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
