I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Randomize
