Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
