That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
