i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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