You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize