Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
someone owes me an orgasm
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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