I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
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