Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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