I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
