"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
