My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
