Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
