Soap is not a condiment
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
