I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
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