sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
