saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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