Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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