Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
And then he peed in my hair
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