Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
