It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
