I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
