honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
He kissed a someone with a penis
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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