we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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