So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
