A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
