Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
