I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
