she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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