Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Did I show you my penis last night?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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