is your mom at the bar?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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