it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
