big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
