I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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