Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
