Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
