Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
All the doctor said was why
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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