Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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