I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
fuck your aforementioned shoe
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
