just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
