Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
