I didn't shave. On purpose
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Dignity is for republicans.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
