This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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