cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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