somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
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LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
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We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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