She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
