"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
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