she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
