these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
