YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
