I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
