Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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