I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
