If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
