Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
