Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm always down for nudity.
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