i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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