I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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