Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Woke up backwards on a recliner
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
