New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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