ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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