I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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