She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
