Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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