don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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