I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
