Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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